Ordinary and Simple Discipleship (Part 2): How
This was first given as a breakout session at our Women of Grace event in May 2022 and is the second of three parts. The first part focused on the what and why of discipleship.
In the first part, we dispelled some of the myths surrounding discipleship by looking at what the Bible says. At the same time, we also considered how discipleship could be structured and also spontaneous, and what are some of the elements in a discipling relationship. In this second part, we will be considering more of the practical aspects and how we can go about starting a discipling relationship.
Something for all
As we think about discipleship, we need to realise that we can all be learning from someone and helping someone grow, regardless of age. The burden is not on the older women and by older women, it does not mean length of years but the maturity of her faith. We can all be learning from one another. So the older women do not have to feel pressured to always “give", but should also actively seek someone else to learn from!
Another fear that some might have is that this discipling relationship is forever. This is not the case! A discipling relationship, after all, is not a marriage. Melissa Kruger, in her book raises a good point about beginning by setting expectations. If you are looking to grow together with another sister, it is therefore helpful to set some expectations at the get-go.
Setting expectations
How can we go about setting expectations? Firstly, communication is important. Often, both sides could have a different vision of what the time together looks like, thus, it is good to communicate what the goal of your time together is.
Set an expected frequency and duration for your time together. Set a specific date, time and place (once a month, twice a month, or once a week etc). Also, figure what day and time works best for you both and commit to it.
One fear in a discipling relationship is that it is a lifelong commitment and that is not true! Most relationships are seasonal. Even though the season may end for both of you, the relationship does not. Start small, ask God and trust that He will bring just one person to you.
Disciples depend upon grace
As we go about doing these things, we must always remember that apart from the sustaining and empowering grace of God we can do nothing. Remember Jesus' words in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
As we follow Christ and help others follow him, we need grace. We fail. We sin. We struggle. But we give thanks that God’s grace abounds to us, His children. This is good news as we seek to follow Jesus together and daily be transformed into his glorious image (2 Cor. 3:18). May we faithfully follow Christ and help others to do the same until we see his face. Remember, sisters, that we need one another to grow together!
Next steps
So what can we do?
Read a book together. One recommendation is Growing Together by Mellisa Kruger, which is a primer for cultivating such discipling relationships. Each chapter is short and focuses on a particular aspect. It also has some questions for reflection and discussion at the end of the chapter. Why not pick up the book and read with someone?
Approach someone. Do you have in mind someone that you'd like to ask? Approach them! If you are keen to cultivate a discipleship relationship with another sister and needs help or resources, approach any of the staff, pastors, or elders, not for them to directly disciple you but they can help to connect you with other sisters.
Pray. This is the most important step. Pray that God will send you someone to disciple or be discipled by! Pray that God will empower and enable you in this relationship.
This poem titled "Call Back", nicely encapsulates the value of such a discipling relationship:
If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back;
'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track;
And if, perchance, Faith's light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.
Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;
That when the heavens thundered and the earthquake shook the hill,
He bore you up and held you where the very air was still.
O friend, call back and tell me, for I cannot see your face;
They say it glows with triumph, and your feet bound in the race;
But there are mists between us, and my spirit eyes are dim,
And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.
But if you'll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,
And if you'll say He saw you through the night's sin-darkened sky,
If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back,
'Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.
Sisters, be one of those women who calls back and cheers another on in the faith.
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Other articles in this series and related articles: