Right and Responsible Relationships (1 Thessalonians 5:12-15)

The sermon outline can be found in the ministry guide.

This sermon was preached by Andrew Goh.


 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”
(James 4:1-2)

The reason we quarrel, we fight, we contend with one another because of our sinful desires and passions. The reason why conflicts occurs within the family, in schools and at the work place and even when playing games is because of our sin and rebellion against God.  

The only place that you will not find conflicts, the only place where people do not quarrel and do not fight is in the church, right?

If we have been in church long enough, we know that is not true. Conflicts and strained relationships happen more often than we think within the body of Christ. Over the years, I have witness interpersonal conflicts leading to both parties refusing to talk to each for years. Even though they see each other every Sunday. I have witness people leaving the church due to dispute over musical instrument among other things. Growing up in a Baptist Church, I have witnessed arguing and quarrelling during members meeting and sometimes it can get quite ugly. So how different are we from the world?

Paul has been writing to the young church in Thessalonica to commend them for their work of faith, labour of love and steadfastness of hope. He encourages them to press on in faith, love and hope. Towards the end of his letter, in the light of the certainty of the return of King Jesus, Paul exhorted his readers to encourage one another and to build one another up. 

I can imagine when the letter was read to them, many would expect Paul to end his letter with 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11. But as the hearers prepare to go into a time of reflections. The reader continued on. The attention of the hearers once again awakened. Wondering what more does Paul has to say? 

The young church in Thessalonica was facing persecution and external pressure. Despite the persecutions, they have done well as commended by Paul. However, the young church is not immune to internal conflicts. There is the possibility that as a result of pressure and persecution that the people in the Church are going through, their relationship with one another and their relationship with their leaders may be facing some difficulties. 

There is every possibility that under intense pressure, people in the church may disagree with their leaders, who are also still young in the faith. Under intense pressure, relationships within the church family, may suffer as people express disappointment and frustration with each other. Paul was very likely aware that some of the relationships in the church are in danger of fracturing due to the pressures that they are facing. 

So he did not end his letter but continued on to provide a final encouragement designed to correct and strengthen these relationships.

We are to work towards strengthening our relationship with our leaders and with one another

The big idea for this morning sermon is: We are to work towards strengthening our relationship with our leaders and with one another.  

Let us now unpack the first point of the sermon.

Right relationship with our leaders (1 Thess 5:12-13) 

It is a heavy responsibility to be a leader in the church. It calls for us to work hard. It involves leading and taking care of the members in the local body of the church. The responsibilities over the members includes not just caring for their needs but involves teaching and correcting those who have erred. As leaders we also need to guard the truths entrusted to us and we need to defend the gospel from any form of false teachings. 

It is not about having all the best qualities but it is about having an obedient heart and a responsible attitude. 

However, those who are called to lead the church are not always the most qualified in secular terms. The selection of leaders is not based on one’s charisma and management abilities. It is not about having all the best qualities but it is about having an obedient heart and a responsible attitude. 

The leader is qualified by God as spell out in the Bible, But when we look at the qualifications, they are qualities that are largely expected of all of us believers in Christ. There is very little difference. Those who are called are dependent upon God to equip and enable and without doubt, absolutely dependent upon the grace and wisdom from God. The leader is responsible for the members and he is answerable to God.

Even though the leader is marked by God, still it is often a challenge to lead. We think of Moses leading a bunch of rebellious people. We think of Joshua leading the often — disobedient Israelites into the promise land, we think of David whose throne was challenged by his own son Absalom. Even Jesus’s own disciples betrayed Him and deserted Him. As a leader we will often face opposition even from within the body.  

We do not know what the Thessalonian church leadership is like but being a young church facing persecution, one could venture a guess that the leadership is one that is rather young, inexperience and under tremendous external pressure.  

What about the members within the church? How do they see their leaders and how supportive are they of them? 

We do not have a clear picture but for Paul to see the need to write them regards on this matter, there is in all likelihood some challenges involved within the body of the Church itself. Listen to what Paul has to say regards how members should treat their leaders. In 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13, it is written, “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.”

From the passage we know the leaders in the church are a hard-working group, this is implied by how Paul describes their service, “as those who labour among you”. The word labour can be translated from Greek as to labour with wearisome efforts. In other words, hard work. Their responsibilities include leading and admonishing as revealed in the passage. 

When we speak of admonishing it can involve correcting, warning or exhorting. The responsibility to carry out this duty may not always be pleasant especially when correction is involves. Nobody likes to be corrected or to be given a warning. To be admonish is seldom easy for the members to respond to. So how should a member respond? 

Paul’s instruction to his readers is to respect the leaders and to esteem them very highly in love. What does it mean? In respecting the leadership what Paul is asking his readers to do is to recognize the diligence and hard work the young leaders have put in to care of the flock. 

The attitude they are to have is one of loving respect. And the basis for the respect is because of the responsibility the leaders have to assume. What therefore Paul is telling the church is to lovingly and not grudgingly respect their leaders and the reason is because of the work they do. 

Not only are they to respect the leaders but they are also to esteem them very highly in love. To esteem is to hold the leadership with high regards. What this entails is a loving submission to the leadership. 

What this looks like is they are not to gossip about their leaders or to refuse to follow their lead. Instead, they are to trust their guidance, heeding their instruction unless it clearly goes against God’s Word.

Our leaders in the church have a God-given responsibility to the flock.

What does it mean for us in this local body? First we must understand that our leaders in the church have a God-given responsibility to the flock. That responsibility involves a lot of hard work. At times it involves making unpleasant decisions or having to carry out difficult task. Especially when it involves admonishing our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ but this is our responsibility. 

I can tell you it is not easy to be a leader. For the decisions that are made are not always met with consensus and some decisions have elicited strong objections. Leaders are often subjected to much criticisms because everyone have their own opinions, their own preference which may defer from the decisions made.

And it is so easy to be critical of decisions made when we have our preferences and opinions. There are times when we could not turn the decision to our favour and we start to grumble. We must be careful for in time our grumbling may turn into gossiping about the attitude of our leaders etc. Eventually leading to a refusal to follow their lead. Maybe we sincerely think our leaders are wrong and we are right. However if we were to examine our hearts, we may find that it often has to do with our own pride, our own sinful passion and our own selfish desires. 

As members ,we may not always agree with the decisions and we can always choose to disagree and voice our disagreement but do so with much love and respect. Decision may be made against our desire and we must graciously and lovingly submit to the final decision made, the only exception being it goes against the gospel or it causes us to sin. 

As members, let us encourage one another to do our best to make the job of our church elders easy. We do that by recognizing the leadership that God has placed in our midst. Let us learn to respond rightly to the leadership by lovingly respect and humbly submit to their leadership. We respect them because they have a God given responsibility over us. We esteem them because theirs is a labour of love.

Responsible relationship with one another (1 Thess 5:14-15)

The second concern of Paul is the relationship between the members. Reading from 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, this is what Paul has to say to them: “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.”

From the verses just read, we can kind of figure the composition of the people making up the body of Christ in the Church in Thessalonica. We have the ones who are idle and they were mentioned in 1 Thessalonians 4. Then we have the timid or fainthearted. They may be the ones who are having a hard time trying to deal with the opposition and the persecutions. The timid could also be those who may have lost their love ones through persecution. As result they do not have much confidence. 

Another group of people are those who are weak. These could be referring to those who are physically weak and require the loving help of the Church family or it could be referring to those who are morally or spiritually weak and struggling in their faith. It could be both.

Perhaps you may be wondering, has not Paul already covered all this in his letter. He has encouraged the Thessalonians to continue to press on in their work of faith, to continue to remain steadfast in their hope and he has encouraged them to love more and more. So all that he has written thus far would have address the ways to help the idle, the timid and faint hearted and the weak, Why is he coming back to it? Is he summarizing for them all that he has said. No, he is not because this is what he instructed them to do. 

Firstly in 1 Thessalonianss 5:14b, he says be patient with them all, As they admonish the idle ones, as they encourage the timid and the faint hearted, as they exhort and work towards helping the weak, they are to do all these with much patience. 

The thing is this, those who are so comfortable idling their time away are not going to welcome your admonishing with open arms, they are going to resist. The easiest thing to do is to just leave them and let them rot. But Paul is saying to his readers: Be patient. He is telling his readers to continue to patiently admonish them, teaching and guiding them to not idle their time away. 

Helping the timid is not simply throwing Bible verses at them. It involves much patience in listening to their fears; it involves patiently opening scriptures and teaching them to understand the truth. It involves much time praying for them and with them, 

Helping the weak likewise will take a lot of patience especially when we are helping those who are morally weak and resisting change. When a person is morally weak and resistance to change, it can get very frustrating trying to help the person. This is also a challenge face within the Thessalonian church body. Paul had earlier spoken of the need to exercise self-control and here he is telling those who are confronting a brother or sister who lacks self-control to act patiently.

In my journey as a pastor reaching out to those who have fallen into sin, I have encountered different levels of challenges. The easier ones are those who are willing to confess and repent. Although it takes lots of patience to walk with them through their struggle. Often even though someone has confessed and repented, there is still the likelihood of falling into sin again. So when we walked with a brother we must be patient. Depending on the nature of the sin, some can struggle for a long time. It is not because they are not genuine in their repentance. 

I remember having a conversation with the president of a halfway house for drug addicts. He himself was a former drug addict. He said to me, “If there is drug place in front of us right now, it probably will not entice you but I will be drawn to it. He said to me the temptation never goes away because I have tasted it.”  This is why we must flee from temptation.  As challenging as it may be, we can draw wisdom and patience from the Lord.

The next level of difficulty are those who are willing to confess their wrongs but refuse to change. This takes a tremendous amount of patience and the journey can be long and tiresome and it may not even bear fruit at all. The most difficult cases that I have accounted are those who have no qualms about confessing what they have done but they do not see what they do as wrong. This is one of the most difficult challenge and it can lead to church discipline. However, before we reach the church discipline stage it often involves patiently and lovingly pleading for the brother or sister to confess their sins and repent. The most painful part is when they not only refuse to change but they just walk away. Even then we continue to patiently pray for their repentance. 

What Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:15 is a very important reminder, “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.”

The Thessalonian being a newly planted church, probably consist of a group of believers who may not know each other well. We already know there are the idlers who may be contented just by being a passenger and acting in selfish manner. It is so easy to get angry especially when one is sacrificing so much for the body. These can lead to a lot of frustrations and anger and resulting in unloving acts. This Paul writes to remind the people who are serving faithfully to continue to do good to everyone, even those who they may deem not worth doing good to. 

Having served in the ministry for so many years, I have met with all kinds of people. Some are very encouraging, some are very frustrating, some are very supportive, some are just plain difficult. There are times when you can be tempted to just avoid the difficult ones and don’t care about them. There are times you really want to simply respond in kind because you are just fed up. I have made mistakes and I have reacted in not very nice way in some situations. But along the way I learnt often it is very difficult to change people, but what I can change is my own attitude.

As a pastor because of the nature of our responsibility I learn to remind myself, that no matter how nasty a member may be, that brother or sister, I am still called ot love them and be their under shepherd. I do wonder if I am not a pastor would I still react in this manner. 

But friends, when Paul exhort his readers to always seek to do good to one another and to everyone, he was talking to every single member of the body. 

Human relationship can be complicated and frustrating and often even more so in the body of Christ because we care for one another. It is frustrating when our effort to love and to serve are not reciprocated in kind. There are times we may feel justified to retaliate because we feel we are in the right. But friends being right does not give us the right to retaliate. We still must seek the good of others.  

We live within a community of fallen beings. The men leading us are not perfect, they made mistakes and they are often tempted and they are not without sin. Yet despite the imperfection God has chosen among us these men to lead us and equipped us for the work of ministry.

Pray for our leaders, pray for them to watch their life and their doctrines. While there is certainly the joy of ministry, the joy of seeing lives transformed, the joy of serving together but there also the challenges. Pray for their family. The tendency is the family of the leaders often come under close scrutiny. The family of leaders often are more susceptible to attacks. Leaders do face many moments of discouragement. Some time all it takes is just a word of encouragement. A word of appreciation can go a long way. 

Pray for ourselves to trust in the leaders that God has placed before us. Pray for a willing spirit to lovingly submit to the leadership in a God honouring manner. 

Pray for a humble spirit within us to accept the love and concern from our leaders when they speak truth into our lives. Especially truths that admonishes and corrects.

Being a pastor before I know it takes a lot of courage and love to speak to someone who is not walking in a manner that is not pleasing to the Lord. This is because it may not always be met with a desirable response. I recall a time when I have to tell a sister who was a regular visitor to my church, that it wrong to be cohabiting with a man. She got very upset and storm out of my office accusing me of not being understanding to the situation and she left the church. 

To be on the receiving end is also not easy. Our first instinct is to be defensive and to take offence. Let us pray for a humble heart to receive correction and to repent of our sins. In Psalms 25:8-9 it is written, “Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.”

It is only when we are humble that we can be led to walk according to His ways. 

I have been encouraged by the support we give to our leaders. This is demonstrated in how we conduct ourselves during the members meeting and how there are people who are willing to serve in the leadership — when called upon. I know in some churches people are reluctant to serve because it is often a thankless task, with very little support and plentiful criticism. So I say to us keep up the good work. Let us continue to trust God that He has place the right men to serve us and in trusting God let us continue to lovingly support our leaders and make it a joy for them to serve us.

What must draw us together is Christ.

As brothers and sisters in this local body of Christ, let us learn to be responsible to one another. I know we are a body made up of all kinds of personalities. There are some whom we click better than others but let us move out of our comfort zone. What draws us as a body, should not be common interest, same age group, similar educational background etc, etc. What must draw us together is Christ. The primary reason why we are together in this body, why we are to love and care for one another, why we are to “admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak and be patient with them all.” is because of the gospel. 

I know we still quarrel, we still have disputes because of the presence of sin in our lives. Butmy dear brothers and sisters in Christ, let us be clear of one thing. Sin no longer has control over us. Let us not continue to live like people who are still under the bondage of sin. Let us strive to live in the freedom that Christ has given us. The freedom to respect and esteem our leaders, the freedom to do good to one another and to everyone.  We must no longer conform to the ways of this world but let the we must transform by the renewal of our minds.

We are a gospel community so let us not be dictated by the culture of the world but let our light shine for the world to see a different culture in us. Let us strive to build a culture that is shaped by the gospel, where Christ is proclaimed and Christ is portrayed. 

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Keep Awake: Be Sober! (1 Thessalonians 5:1-11)