How Do You Grieve Over Death? (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)
The sermon outline can be found in the ministry guide.
In our everyday life, we make many different kinds of preparations. If you’re a student, you prepare for examinations. If you’re a working adult, you prepare for job interviews or an upcoming project presentation at work. If you are a new homeowner, you make some preparations by renovating the house before you move in. Even now as we are in the school holidays season, you may be preparing for a trip by booking accommodation and air tickets and curating a packing list. In the midst of preparing, we do have a deadline to work on, so that we may be ready when the day comes. Sometimes, we use the term “Due Date”.
This morning, we will be looking at a different kind of preparation with a due date that is unknown to us. Unlike those examples that I mentioned earlier, this due date is not set by any individual or organization and it’s beyond anyone’s control. Regardless of your religion, age, marital status, gender, health conditions, we will all face this particular kind of due date: I’m referring to our death due date.
Today’s sermon title is “How Do We Grieve Over Death?” It is usually a less popular topic that we would like to talk about. Whether you are a Christian or not, you tend to avoid it for whatever reasons. Some of us fear death, others do not.
Many of us keep a healthy lifestyle by exercising regularly, coupled with a healthy diet and taking the prescribed medication. That is good because we should be responsible for this mortal body, the temple of the Holy Spirit. We are also thankful for God’s common grace upon mankind that we have the advancement in medical research and technology especially in Singapore, to help patients to overcome challenging physical health conditions, but still we will be confronted with death.
Death is unavoidable, it is certain because of sin inherited from Adam and Eve. It is not a question of if death comes upon you, but when death knocks at your door! So when it comes, how do you approach your own death and that of your loved ones, and how do you grieve over it?
Let us read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.
We grieve with hope in Christ as we await His return.
The big idea for today’s sermon is: We grieve with hope in Christ as we await His return.
We grieve differently from the world
1 Thessalonians 4:13 says “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” It begins with “But”? There is a contrast with the things the Thessalonian believers already knew — things they were taught in 1 Thessalonians 4:1-12 which was preached last week. In last week’s sermon, we were exhorted to flee from sexual immorality, to live a sanctified life, to mind your own affairs and work with your hands.
Then Paul moved to a different issue that the believers were facing. Paul mentioned that he did not want them to be uninformed about something, matters pertaining to those who have fallen asleep so that those who are still alive may not grieve without hope. Though they know that Jesus is coming back, they seem to have an incomplete understanding of Christ’s return. Coupled with the influence of the way the world grieves over death, some doubts and confusion seem to fill their minds as to the status of their loved ones and friends who have fallen asleep. They may have thought that those who died would miss the blessings of His return.
In order to correct these misconceptions, Paul proceeds to teach them to provide a clear and better understanding. Paul begins by reinterpreting the word death to “falling asleep” to change their misconceptions and to know the significance of what death is. Paul’s aim is to help the believers understand that death is like going to sleep for a period of time and then, you will be awakened by the coming of the Lord.
In Matthew 27:52 it says “The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised.”
Another similar verse can be found in John 11:11-14: “After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.” The disciples said to him, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.” Now Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that he meant taking rest in sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus has died”.
Paul provides these explanations about the death of a believer so that the Thessalonian believers will not grieve in the same way as the world grieves over death. Unbelievers have no hope, but believers have a firm hope of life beyond the grave. Christians can mourn a fellow believer’s death as a sad, but temporary separation, rather than a permanent loss. God will wake them one day to a physical resurrection from the dead.
Some of you may ask: what then happens to our spirit? Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:6,8: “We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” So we can conclude that when a believer dies, his spirit goes to be with the Lord, but his body returns to dust. The spirit leaves the body at the point of physical death.
We can and should grieve but grieve in ways which are consistent with the hope you have in Christ, as opposed to those who grieve without such hope.
Paul’s purpose in teaching them is to help them see a pattern of grieving for Christians that is different from how the world grieves. Paul is not saying do not grieve. We can and should grieve but grieve in ways which are consistent with the hope you have in Christ, as opposed to those who grieve without such hope.
For an unbeliever holds death as a pure grieving, loss and permanent separation from them. This is because they have no hope. Therefore they have no hope of being in Heaven and no expectation of life beyond the grave.
Grieving is a painful process. It is like a part of our body is being cut off or amputated away and it is extremely painful and yet on the other hand, there is an inner confidence of hope that we have in Christ. What does grieving look like? It is an emotional feeling of sadness and pain within you, such as the grief of losing our spouse who has been living with us as one flesh since day one of our marriage or to lose our parents who loved and cared for us since the day we were born. It is even harder for us to grieve the death of someone close to our hearts that happens unexpectedly. These are extremely painful losses to any grieving person, even among Christians. Most of the time they are unable to express their grief except tears continually flowing down their cheeks.
Jesus likewise was deeply grieved over the loss of His good friend, Lazarus. John 11:35 says “Jesus wept.”
Sometimes bereaved members say things like “Perhaps if I have done this or that, my loved ones may not have passed on.” Beloved, a word of encouragement to you: you have done everything you can under those difficult circumstances. Do not guilt trip yourself into thinking of the “what ifs”. Do not let Satan plant untrue thoughts in your mind. Trust in God and His sovereignty over you. Hold on to the promises of God that our Heavenly Father does not withhold good things from His children and all things work together for good according to His perfect will, and not our desired will.
Here are some common practical ways we can provide support to members who are grieving. Firstly, we pray for them. We can call or drop them a text message to let them know we are with them in their grief. Assuring them of God’s presence and His sufficient grace and comfort. Tell them that you remember them in your constant prayers and ask if they would need some help. Since the beginning of April this year, the church sends out bereavement news to all members so that they can reach out to these grieving members. By doing that, we live out the one anothering and the Members’ Covenant that we have pledged with one another. As Paul has encouraged the church to do more and more. Likewise, I want to encourage you to do more and more of this spiritual good
Secondly, be physically present with the bereaved family. Make it a priority to be there with them. There are two possible hindrances that may pose a challenge for us: Not being able to find time to attend and not knowing the bereaved member well enough. You do not know them or cannot even put a face to their name, what more about visiting them. Let me suggest to you, you can gather others who may know them better to go along with you. In this way you are also encouraging others to minister to them as well. Perhaps we need a shift in our mindset in attending funeral wakes.
Let me share 2 important reasons for the in-person support: (1) the bereaved appreciates our presence with them in these grieving moments and (2) we want to weep with those who weep because we are brothers and sisters in this family of God, the body of Christ.
Allow me to share one of the many experiences that God has taught and bless me with in reaching out to these members. I recall those times when I started serving as a lay leader in GBC. My wife, and I struggled a lot trying to be with bereaved families. We will come up with some valid reasons and good excuses and then we will give it a miss. We also struggled to find a time slot in our busyness of family life or thought that we will miss it because we did not know the family well. By God’s grace and His enabling Spirit working in our life, both of us have gradually overcome those struggles and challenges. Now it has become a part of our life and a priority to attend wakes and cremation service, regardless whether we know them well or not, whether we have time or no time, whether we feel like it or not, we will be there for them, if God willing. We visited them not because I am a pastor nor is it because I am equipped or gifted to do so. Rather, it is simply because I am a member of this family, called Grace Baptist Church!
A word of encouragement to you: When you visit them at such a time, they really appreciate and are greatly encouraged by your presence. Though you may not know what words to say, what really matters is to allow them to share their grief, a way to release the pain in their hearts.
Beloved, this is a ministry that all members are part of, simply because we are members of one another. No experience required or training but only a tender heart of love and service with your presence, a willingness to sacrifice your time and energy.
Having defined that Christians grieve differently from the world, we want to know how we can grieve with hope.
We can grieve with hope
Firstly, we see that we grieve with hope in the resurrection of Christ. 1 Thessalonians 4:14 says “For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.”
Paul reasserts the essential Christian proclamation: “Jesus died and rose again.” Jesus’ resurrection proves that God’s people will be raised (1 Cor 15:12–28), and Jesus will return to judge those currently living and those who are dead. 1 Thessalonians 4:14 tells us when Jesus returns, God will bring with Him those who have died. Hope in the face of death must start with the recognition that Jesus died and rose again.
The resurrection of Jesus is the model for the resurrection of believers. The resurrection of Jesus is the reason why death can be redefined as “falling asleep” for death is no longer the end but the beginning of new life with God.
The resurrection of Jesus is the model for the resurrection of believers. The resurrection of Jesus is the reason why death can be redefined as “falling asleep” for death is no longer the end but the beginning of new life with God. God has conquered death through Christ and death has lost its sting.
Likewise, we who belong to Christ, have victory over death. We find hope in the resurrection of Christ because it is also the resurrection for us, as believers. There can be no resurrection for the believers without the resurrection of Christ. Praise God for this hope!
For the believers, it appears here that God will form a resurrected body. We know God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep, those who have died, but exactly what will happen on that day? This is what Paul will expand on in 1 Thessalonians 4:15 - 17 which is our next point.
Secondly, we grieve with hope in the coming of Christ, as we see in 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17a. The phrase “a word from the Lord” might denote a direct revelation given to Paul, but it seems more likely to reference Jesus’ own teachings regarding His return.
On that day of Jesus’s second coming: The Lord Himself will descend from heaven with “a cry of command,” perhaps similar to the Lord’s command to Lazarus to come out of the tomb. All will hear “the voice of an archangel,” and “the trumpet of God.” — signalling the gathering of God’s people. The trumpet was often used as a signal for the people or the army to gather. This is a great contrast to the birth of Christ at Bethlehem, the first coming of Jesus, lowly and quiet, non eventful and only few privileged people knew it. This time in His return will be obvious to all and will apparently be sudden, spectacular and grand.
Then, the dead in Christ will rise first and then those of us who are alive till then, will be caught up together with the dead, with new resurrected bodies, to meet the Lord in the air. All this sounds like a movie right? But friends, this is a real thing and a promise of God that our Lord Jesus is coming in this manner and God never lies nor fails in His promises. Paul’s central point is that our deceased Christian loved ones will be raised, and believers should take solace and courage in that hope. Not only will our bodies be changed from the perishable to the imperishable, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is (1 John 3:2).
Our hope is in His coming. As Christians, we grieve with hope in the resurrection of Christ, we grieve with hope in the coming of Christ. and finally our last point: We grieve with hope to be with Christ forever
1 Thessalonians 4:17b says “and so we will always be with the Lord.” The promise of God that we will always be with the Lord is just wonderful, encouraging and heartwarming to all believers now and those who have gone before us. Let us pause here and think about what it means to always be with the Lord Jesus.
What does that look like for you? It is spending eternity (spending forever) with our Lord and Saviour Jesus. We will be taken from this world of sin, sorrow and suffering, to be with Jesus in perfection. Nothing will ever separate us from any of them, because we will always be with the Lord. We will not lose anyone ever again. It will be perfect; it will be into eternity. We will see our Lord Jesus, face-to-face every moment. And we will be together with our brothers and sisters in Christ, with those we’ve never known and with those we have already bid farewell on earth.
Revelation 21:3-4 says ”And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
Turning to our friends and visitors among us this morning who may not know Christ. Do you have this hope in Christ? Do you know where you’re heading to after you have breathed your last breath? The only way to have this hope is to have Jesus by turning away from your sins and turning to God. This is made possible because God so loved us, that He gave and sent his only Son, Jesus, into this world, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Jesus died on the cross to shed His blood so that you and I can find forgiveness of sins and be made right with God. Jesus took upon Himself the punishment of our sins, though He knew no sin. He died and was buried, but on the third day, God raised Him from the dead. Likewise, we will be raised one day though we may die. He is the living Lord.
We encourage one another to grieve with hope as we await Christ’s return
Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:18, “therefore encourage one another with these words.” These words refer to 1 Thessalonian 4:13-17, which is the whole of Paul’s teaching on death and Christ’s return. Indeed it has encouraged the believers. Now, Paul urges the believers to encourage others as well.
Certainly, Paul has gone through much grief of losing his co-workers and members of the churches while serving God in the ministry of the gospel. And this is also the encouragement that you and I need. Whether we are experiencing the loss of a loved one, or feeling the fear of losing someone whom we love so much.
How do we encourage one another with these truths that Paul has written regarding death and grief over the loss of our loved ones?
We need to gather regularly as a church so that we, members of this body of Christ can reach out to one another. Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT) says “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Gathering as a church like what we are doing here now, is a means where we can encourage one another in many ways, not restricted to grief and death issues. Take steps to be part of a church, being a member of a faithful gospel preaching church, not only as a member on the registry but very intentionally and actively living out the one anothering in the life of the church. You can turn to someone to seek help in your difficult season of life particularly in your grief over death issues. Let us meet regularly to encourage one another especially for the Day of the Lord is drawing near.
Beside words of encouragement, we can offer acts of encouragement. We can continue to care for the person by spending time post grief period as they undergo a slow and difficult grieving process. I know of a CG whose members planned a trip to Johor Bahru and everything was going as planned until the news came that a member’s mum passed on a week before the intended trip. Instead of postponing the leisure trip, the CG decided to use that day to visit the bereaved member’s family, also in JB but with a longer drive. They spent most of the time with her dad and nephews, for breakfast and lunch and then board games and more interaction at her dad’s house. God can use us to minister to them by being an instrument of God’s grace to provide encouragement for the grieving members wherever He leads. When His Spirit leads you, are you willing to follow?
We are warned to not be caught unprepared for Christ’s return. Instead it should drive us to live a Spirit sanctified life, separated from the world, pointing others to Christ and the gospel. It should not be influenced by the world of having an attitude of YOLO (you only live once), or eat and be merry! Like an Olympic athlete training for the big event, Paul says there is a great reward called the crown of righteousness that will be given to anyone who is a child of God, who is prepared for, who has looked forward to, and has been living a sanctified life. This helps us to finish well in the race to receive the Lord’s word: “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
Let us encourage one another to press on towards our final destination, hoping and longing to be with our Lord.
In closing, we are going to sing this beautiful hymn “Precious Lord Take My Hand”. The song speaks about Christians going through different seasons of life of pain and suffering. You may be tired, weary and worn, grieved and struggling with many life’s issues. Let us encourage one another to press on towards our final destination, hoping and longing to be with our Lord. Now we know how to grieve in hope in Christ as we await Christ’s return. Let us encourage one another and ourselves in our struggle and grief over death, till the Lord takes us home in life or death according to His perfect timing!
I came to read this while preparing for this sermon. It says: “We know that one day Jesus will return. When He comes, His words will have an effect similar to that felt by wartime soldiers, bringing tears to our eyes and joy to our hearts: “The war is over, children. It’s time to go Home.””
Let us pray.