Reflections on Death and the Gospel
Pastor Ollie reflects on the recent bereavement of his brother and shares how the gospel has shaped his brother and his response to death.
My younger brother Benjamin passed away from pneumonia at the end of his lifelong battle with progressive muscular dystrophy in late November 2023. Slightly more than two months have passed, and the time and distance have brought some healing to our hearts. The grief is still there but tempered by comfort and joy from trust in Jesus Christ. The time has also afforded some reflections on what has taken place.
I will include the eulogy with slight edits that I gave at Benjamin's funeral service to provide you with some sense of the man my brother was and what happened in the last weeks of his life. After which, I will talk about three points of reflection that came from reflecting on Scripture and the gospel at my brother's bereavement these past weeks.
AN EULOGY FOR BENJAMIN
"You are going to die soon, you know, right?" These were the words I spoke to my brother after he planned his medical care plan and started palliative care soon after he was last discharged from the hospital in early October. We cried and grieved, but facing the reality of death propelled us to focus on what really matters.
In this eulogy, I will talk about the last few weeks of my brother's life. You can see most clearly the measure of a man in how he dies. To see how Ben lived, refer to his written testimony on the tables [at the funeral service]. In it, he testifies to God's faithfulness and goodness in his life.
But I will focus on his last six to seven weeks. We dried off our tears and talked about what truly matters: the gospel of Jesus Christ. We reminded ourselves that our Lord Jesus Christ came to seek and save the lost (Lk 19:10). We were lost in our sins; we went our own way—away from God. We did not seek God, but God, our loving Creator, took the initiative to seek after us. And He saved us by sending Jesus Christ to bear in our place on the cross the judgement due to our sins. Jesus died and was raised so we might be raised to new life when we trust Him. My brother heartily re-affirmed the gospel and his belief in this wonderful good news. And because Ben trusted in Jesus Christ, he believed he received the promises of the gospel: that we have been forgiven of our sins and trespasses (Eph 1:7), that God will transform our bodies, the perishable into the imperishable when Jesus Christ comes again (Phil 3:20-21, 1 Cor 15:53), and that we will be with God in the new heavens and the new earth—and God will be our God, and there will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain (Rev 21:1-4).
Benjamin believed in the gospel, trusted God's promises and had hope. Even amid pain and suffering, he continued steadfastly in this hope. This gospel hope allowed my brother to live his remaining days with purpose and meaning. He even looked at his impending death with humour, describing it as having already checked his bags and waiting in the airport’s waiting area to board the aeroplane. He was waiting eagerly to depart to be with Jesus. He wanted to write a testimony, but rather than have me help him, he insisted that the non-Christian social worker help him instead. He did this as he wanted the opportunity to share the gospel. He continued talking, encouraging his friends who visited, and praying for Bedok Bethesda Tampines Church and Grace Baptist Church. His friends said Benjamin's words and actions encouraged them. We also finished any unfinished tasks. He wanted to care for family and friends by making practical arrangements. He made his will and lasting power of attorney. He willed a sum to the nursing home to help others, and willed another sum to his friend to help set up a fund to help underprivileged children in a Southeast Asian country. He ensured he spoke his last words to express his care for family and friends. He lived a life worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
In the last few weeks, my brother endured pain but was also hopeful and happy because of the good news of Jesus Christ. My brother trusted the gospel and proved himself worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ by how he lived and died. I'm sure he now receives the commendation of Jesus Christ: "Well done, good and faithful servant." He enters into the joy of our master Jesus Christ now and always (Matt 25:23). Go ahead, my brother, I will join you when my tasks here are done, and our master calls me home.
THREE POINTS OF REFLECTION
In weeks since, I had the opportunity to ponder and reflect on the gospel and how it shaped my brother and my response to death.
First, I am convinced of the first and primary importance of the gospel. I could have given myself over to grief and anxiety on hearing of my brother's condition and his impending death, but the reassurance of sins forgiven and the promise of eternal life brought my brother and me hope. This gospel hope gave both of us the courage to face death, for we know that death has died in the death of Jesus Christ. This gospel hope, knowing that "to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Phil 1:21), enabled us to face the remaining days with an eternal perspective, trusting that if God gives Benjamin more days, it is good. Still, if God should call him back, it will be glorious as he is ushered into God's joyous presence. Yes, there was sadness and suffering, but because of this perspective, we made the practical final preparations for my brother with trust in God and calm from abiding in Christ and His promises.
Secondly, I am reminded that I need a community shaped by the gospel. Looking back, I realise I could not have gone through the process alone. With caring for my brother, minding my mom, ministry responsibilities and life obligations, I came to the end of myself. Thankfully, God's smiling providence provided the church to come alongside. Many of you prayed for, spoke encouragement, provided meals, met practical needs, and helped in the funeral services. I was moved by how many people showed love and support, and surprised at how various people stepped forward to do what needed to be done. My heart was both gladdened and humbled as I was now in the position to be cared for. I am deeply thankful to many of you who helped and to God who provided me with this church community.
"I remember all the times that God has been faithful in my life, all the times he has been there to help, care for, and provide for me."
— Benjamin
Finally, I am thankful that Jesus was with us at the beginning, middle and end of his life. I read my brother's testimony and remembered how I brought him to Grace Baptist Church in 2000. Jesus was kind and merciful: my brother was drawn to trust in Jesus Christ and placed his faith in the gospel. Jesus was with him at his second birth and the beginning of his faith journey. Rereading my brother's words, I wished I had gotten to know him better, but I was comforted that Jesus was with him in his life journey. He wrote, "I remember all the times that God has been faithful in my life, all the times he has been there to help, care for, and provide for me." And finally, at the end of his life's journey, Jesus was with him and me and allowed the final six and a half weeks of deep conversations. I am grateful to God for this time together with my brother, as I spent nearly every day with him at his end. Looking back, if God had not provided for us this time together, I would have regretted not knowing my brother better and felt guilty thinking I could have done more for him. Jesus was with us at the end. Jesus was with us at my brother's life's beginning, middle and end, and Jesus knew what we needed.