Pursue and Know People
God is a pursuing God. Having been pursued by God, Carrie encourages us to do likewise, to go and turn our face to others.
I recently completed a 10-week online course on Helping Relationships with Christian Counselling and Educational Foundation (CCEF). It was a wonderful learning experience of equipping myself for the work of ministry, however, it was not without challenges, trying to balance ministry work and studies.
…that’s how we build relationships with one another – we have extended conversations!
One component of the course was about having weekly extended conversations with a conversation partner and to keep a log of the conversations. I thank God for His divine providence of a dear sister who out of love and kindness of heart, was willing to carve out time from her busy schedule to help me with this part of my course. What followed was 8 weeks of 1-hour conversations with her where I put into practice what I learned with the goal of growing in wise conversations. Those times spent allowed me to know her, her family, her personality and her struggles better. In hindsight, that’s how we build relationships with one another – we have extended conversations!
It is God’s nature to pursue, the nature of love as we see in 1 John 4:19
Before we can have a meaningful, wise conversation, we take the initiative and that’s what love does and it’s the way we have been treated by God himself. He is the one who goes out and about to pursue us. We see how He does it throughout Scripture – in the way He pursues the first couple in the garden of Eden and His chosen people. God is not waiting for humanity to return to Him, to walk with Him. It is God’s nature to pursue, the nature of love as we see in 1 John 4:19, “We love because he first loved us.” We love because we have first been loved. God acts, initiates and we respond. We also see that in how Jesus engaged the Samaritan woman at the well. Therefore, having experienced pursuit from God himself, we go and turn our face to others. How can we have a conversation if we don’t do that?
On Sundays, we do see people turning toward each other rather than simply turn away and try to get home as quickly as possible. They are looking for someone with whom to engage and they pursue. In church, when someone takes an interest in you and comes to you intentionally, wanting to know something about you, it’s a good thing because it’s an overflow of the very kingdom of heaven. Taking the initiative is essential to knowing people and being known. Let me share two accounts of how church members took the initiative to pursue people. A sister shared with me about her discomfort talking with people whom she didn’t know. I challenged her to start small, with the person sitting beside her at the pews on Sundays. Though nothing happened at the pews that Sunday, however, on her way to the MRT after church, she initiated a conversation with a senior church member who was also on her way to the MRT. They eventually met for lunch the following Sunday. I pray that their conversations will move to matters of the heart gradually.
Another account was how a very introverted sister who was uncomfortable with strangers was pleasantly surprised when a young working adult, sitting at the pews behind her and her family, took the initiative to engage with them. This sister was encouraged that a younger person intentionally moved toward her and family. She invited him to lunch with her family which he politely declined and said perhaps another time. Hopefully, this paves the way for more conversations.
Taking the initiative is essential to our knowing people
Taking the initiative is essential to our knowing people, otherwise we are merely waiting for people to engage with us which is not the way we have been treated. Pursue in knowing and being known is how life is done in the house of God.
This Sunday, consider taking the initiative by greeting one another, introducing yourself and write down the person’s name if you cannot remember and then move your conversations to know the circumstances of their life. It is all these small ordinary acts of love by ordinary people that tend to energise the house of God. Let’s pursue and know people, and be known by people.